How to Be Calm in a Stressful Situation

The clock is ticking. Everyone's counting on you. Which wire should you cut? While most of us never have to deal with the life-or-death dilemmas of a bomb squad, everyday situations such as job interviews, public speaking, and family emergencies, can be every bit as stressful if we are not accustomed to dealing with them. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will not only make things go more smoothly immediately, it can also, over time, help you lead a healthier, happier life. Here's how to keep your cool when the pressure mounts. 

Steps:

Identify the Stress

1. Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.
   
   
   

Choose Your Response

1. Choose your response. Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions.
   • Does it matter? Yeah, it’s all small stuff, but some stuff is smaller than others. Consider how long the source of stress will affect you. That idiot driver will be gone in a moment if you just let him keep speeding down the road, but the death of a loved one may affect you for years.
     
     
     
   • How much control do you have over the situation? You can’t control the rain that’s ruining your wedding, but you can control how well you do on your algebra exam tomorrow.
     
     
     
   • Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future? You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade.
     
     
     
   • Be mindful of and focus on the important things in your life. Your life is precious, so let not the extraneous things interfere with more important things in your life.
     
     
     

Take Action

1. Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. The steps below will help you. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.
   
   
   

Make a Plan

1. Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. See How to Be Proactive.
   
   
   
2. Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time. See also How to Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling.
   
   
   

Shake It Off

1. Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it.
   • Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it.
     
     
     
   • Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, such as your kids or spouse (provided they’re not the cause of the current stress), or by concentrating on the things you have planned for the day.
     
     
     
   • Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in.
     
     
     
   • Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective.
     
     
     
   • Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do calisthenics, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can".
     
     
     
   • See also How to Get Rid of Anger and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
     
     
     

Be Realistic

1. Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go. And, if you find yourself constantly failing to meet someone else's unrealistic standards, read How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and How to Overcome Martyr Syndrome.
   
   
   
   

Tips

• Stress about future events is mostly caused by fear, and stress over things in the present is usually caused by a feeling of powerlessness.
• Focus on someone else who is in the same situation as you and try to tune in to that person’s calm. Remember that if he or she isn’t nervous, you probably don't have to be.
• Avoid Swearing / Shouting - Many people think that this calms them down because it releases bottled up energy / anger. This is a common misconception. Yes. Release your anger. Do not hold it in all the time or you will explode. Do not take out your bottled up anger on those around you. Swearing only hypes you up more. You think you feel better but really, all you've done is put yourself in a destructive habit. If you need to shout, find a place of solitude and let out your anger. Cry. Do not punch a wall. Find a pillow or something that you won't cause any harm to and scream into if you must. Just avoid taking your anger out on others because then guilt will stress you even more. Talk about your problems as they occur; don't put it off. Taking care of the problem now, can eliminate the possibility of blowing up later because your anger was taken out a long time ago with civilized discussion.
• Its probably easier said than done but focus on what needs to be done. Panicking and acting over emotional is damaging to yourself which can make matters worse. Ending up in the hospital because of a stroke or heart attack is not the way you plan on taking care of the stressful situation.
• Meditation is also a good method for calming yourself.

Warnings

• Inappropriate reactions to stress or an inability to cope with stress can shave years off of your life. It's true that not everything is possible, but it's impossible for anything to change if it needs your attention and you just sit there and slack off. Hard work is an achievement in itself.
• Getting in the habit of hitting things while angry might make you a violent or aggressive person. It's better to diffuse your anger than to try to take it out on other people or things. Never hit a person or other living thing, and make sure that any inanimate object you hit won’t hurt you.
• Don’t self-medicate. Alcohol and drugs may provide a temporary escape, but your problems will be waiting for you when you get back to reality. Besides, do you want an addiction problem in your life, too? You yourself may not care about it, or even be aware of it, but it will affect the people who love you.
• See a health professional immediately if you experience chest pain or dizziness.
• Don't blame everything on yourself. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a problem may seem impossible to resolve. Giving up on the subject is not always a bad thing, but giving up on yourself and starting self-abuse methods is counterproductive.

What are some ways I can calm down quickly when I'm feeling overwhelmed?

"Sometimes I don't realize how much stress is building up until I suddenly feel overwhelmed. Other times, several stressful or attention-demanding events will happen at once, and I suddenly go from calm to completely overwhelmed really quickly. However it happens, how can I quickly calm down when I'm feeling overwhelmed by stress?"

Answer: There are many ways to calm down quickly when you suddenly get blindsided by stress and feel overwhelmed. The following are five quick and easy ways to regain your calm so you can deal with whatever situations are at hand:

Take a Walk

Exercise can be a great stress reliever in itself, as it helps you blow off steam and releases endorphins. Taking a walk when stressed can bring you the benefits of exercise--both short-term and long-term, and it provides the bonus of getting you out of the stressful situation. This can provide you with some perspective so you can return in a new frame of mind. Walking with a good friend can be a nice way to find social support, and walking alone can provide you with some time to think, reframe, and return with a more optimistic frame of mind. (Learn more about the benefits of exercise here.)

Take a Breath

If you're not in a position to leave, you can feel better right away by practicing breathing exercises. Getting more oxygen into your body and releasing physical tension are two ways that breathing exercises can benefit you, and you can do them anytime or anywhere, even if your demanding situation isn't letting up. (Learn more about breathing exercises here.)

Take a Mental Break

If you can steal away a few minutes of peace, visualizations and guided imagery are a wonderful way to restore peace of mind. They're easy to do, and can relax you physically as well as mentally. With practice, you can easily access your "happy place" and quickly feel more calm when stressed. (Learn more about visualizations and guided imagery here.)

Reframe Your Situation

Sometimes we intensify our experience of stressful situations by the way we look at them. If you can look at your situation differently, you may be able to put it into a different perspective--one that causes you less stress! Read more about mental and emotional stress that can be caused by pessimism, type A traits, and other self-sabotaging thought patterns, and learn how you can change the way you look at things. It'll come in handy when you're stressed. (Learn more about mental stress and self sabotage here.)

Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) is a technique where you tense and release all of your muscle groups, leaving your body feel more relaxed afterward. PMR is one of my favorite techniques, as it can be done by just about anyone, and with practice you can fully release virtually all the tension you're feeling in your body in a matter of seconds! This can help you feel more calm and better able to handle the situations at hand. (Learn how to practice PMR here.) Once you've been able to calm down, you should be in a better position to address whatever stressful situations you're expriencing. It's also a good idea to adopt a few regular stress relievers and healthy lifestyle habits so that you can reduce your overall stress level so that you experience less stress and are less bothered by the stressful situations you do encounter.
You may also want to sign up for this site's Stress Management Newsletter to get ongoing resources on stress relief, or use this quick self assessment tool to find stress relievers that would work best for your personality and lifestyle.

 

How to Keep Your Cool: 12 Tips for Staying Calm Under Pressure

When I was just a little younger, I had great big goals and objectives and aspirations for every day of my life. These days, my biggest ambition is to get through each day with grace and peace of mind - to be unflappable and to move peacefully from one task to another with focused attention and a quiet, calm energy.

Simple right? Ok maybe not. However there are steps we can take to at least increase how often we remain calm. Why be calm? Heck, because it feels fantastic.

Anger and impatience wear on our hearts and our minds and our families. When we are in control of our emotions, we get more done, we communicate better, and we lead more productive, purposeful lives.

Here are twelve tips for keeping your cool and staying calm amid life's situations – both big and small.

1. Strive to not catastrophize
   It's easy to dramatize and make something a bigger deal than it is. When you are relating the problem to yourself, avoid the urge to magnify the negative. Strike the words always and whenever. You might feel like Stuart Smalley, but it can really help to re-frame the problem in your mind by saying things like "I can cope," "It's not that big a deal," and "I'm bigger than this."


2. Think before you Share
   Don't describe or blog or tweet about the problem. Don't talk it over with your friends right away; let it stew a little in your mind so you can settle down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends will sympathize too much, which may only add fuel to your fire and get you even more upset.


3. Discover metaphors and visualizations that help you stay calm
   Here's one that helps me: I try to imagine my problem as a knot. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot cinches. But, when I adopt a singular focus, a calm takes over and I can loosen one strand at a time.
   
   It might also help if you can visualize yourself acting with patience and focus. Lower your voice and try to move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and softly. Become the calm, unflappable person you see in your mind.
   
   Here's another technique: Do you know anyone whom you would describe as unflappable? Try to think of what this person would do in your situation.


4. Note your patterns of exasperationAre there any specific situations that cause you to lose your cool? Look at specific patterns -- from time of day, to level of stress (or level of boredom), to blood sugar levels. Do you tend to lose it when it's too noisy – or too quiet? Knowing about your own patterns can go a long way in helping you keep your cool throughout the day.


5. Realize that you can control your emotions
   Reflect on times when you were able to successfully stay calm in a frustrating situation. Maybe it was a time when you wanted to yell at your spouse or your kids, but then the doorbell rang and you were able to instantly shift gears. Consider that you might be able to do this repeatedly, as long as you know your triggers – and some tips for keeping a calm mindset.


6. Create a calm environment with peaceful rituals
   If calm music soothes you, use it. If silence soothes you, use it. Maybe you'll play some soothing instrumental music or maybe you'll dim the lights and light some scented candles.
   
   When you are coming home from work, give yourself a few moments to calm your mind before you go charging into an evening at home with your kids. Sit in the car for a few minutes and take some deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and sip a glass of water. Rituals can also be tremendously soothing during the transition periods of your day.


7. Take care of the essentials
   Make sure you are getting enough sleep and getting enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. I tend to lose my temper way more often if I'm low on blood sugar. But, get a little protein in me, and it's (relatively) smooth sailing.
   
   Also make sure you are getting physical exercise. A daily workout can give you the physical release that can help you control your anxiety. If I'm feeling particularly stressed, I trade my half-hour run for a half hour of kickboxing. This helps.
   
   Stay away from too much sugar and caffeine and stay hydrated. Drink a tall glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.


8. Focus on the mind and spirit, too
   Depending on your spiritual tradition, engage in a routine of meditation or prayer. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for awhile. Developing peace of mind is a skill that will serve you well your whole life through. Take a meditation class, and learn techniques to help you get control over your monkey mind.


9. Distract yourselfInstead of ruminating, find something fun, engaging, and constructive to do. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself.) Watch a funny movie or read a blog that always make you laugh. When you lighten up, it's a lot easier to keep your cool.
   
10. Take a day off
    I always know I really need a day off when I fight like crazy to not take one. If I can force myself to take an entire day away from my work, I always come back more calm, assured, and filled with fresh ideas.


11. Don't forget to breatheWhen my kids were very small, we helped them to calm down by teaching them belly breathing, and it still works – for them and for me. Diaphragmatic breathing helps you alleviate your stress in the moment and it gives you a minute or two to calm down, often just long enough for you to assess the situation and help you regain your sense of control.
    
    In a good belly breath, your belly will actually rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your belly. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you breathe in. Hold the breath for a few counts and slowly breathe out.


12. Reflect on quotes that can help you calm your mindHere are a few that I find inspiring:
    
    

    "You are the sky. Everything else – it's just the weather." Pema Chodron

    
    

    "A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." Wayne Dyer

    
    

    "It is useless to force the rhythms of life. If I live with the anxiety to go fast, I will not live well. My addiction to speed will make me sick. The art of living is about learning how to give time to each and every thing. If I have sacrificed my life to speed, then that is impossible. Ultimately, slow means to take the time to reflect. It means to take the time to think. With calm, you arrive everywhere." Carlos Petrini (Founder of the Slow Food movement)

    
    

    "One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher

    
    

    "Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along." Paramahansa Yogananda

How to Calm Down a Fight

Relationships and marriage are not perfect, no matter how hard we try, there will likely be the occasional fight. Fighting every now and again can be somewhat healthy for relationships because when you fight you get some insight into how this person problem solves. You also get the opportunity to humble yourself afterward and make-up. However, fights can escalate out of control very quickly. If you do not learn how to calm down a fight, it can lead to a very negative experience. It can create hurtful and harmful feelings, it can lead to physical or emotional abuse, and can be irreversibly damaging to a relationship.

So, how do you calm down a fight before it goes too far?

The answer to this depends a lot on the personalities of the two engaged in the fight. For some a verbal reminder to calm down will do wonders, while for others this is like throwing gas on an already wild fire.
Let's take a look at some general methods for how to calm down a fight:
Calming down a fight, starts with you, you can't calm someone else down if you are raging inside:

1. If you decide you want to calm down a fight, start with yourself, bring your voice back to normal levels, whisper if you have to. It is really hard to fight when you are whispering.


2. Take some deep breaths, and a step back. This usually helps you clear your mind for a moment so that you remember the big picture (that you love each other) and you forget about whatever it is that started the fight in the first place.


3. Touch is another great way to calm down a fight. If your spouse or partner is upset, sometimes a simple touch of your hand can calm them down. So, lay your hand on their arm, take their hand, or pat their back. When doing this be careful not to act aggressive, or as though you are restraining them, this might infuriate someone further. So, pat the top of the arm, not the forearm, etc.


4. Take a break from it. If the fight is starting to get out of control, take a break from it. Sometimes time is the best way to calm something down. Do not storm out of the house, or slam the door behind you, but expressing the need to distance yourself for a time, and calmly walking to the car, or to another room can often help.


5. Sit down. Often times a less aggressive stance is a great way to calm down a fight. If you are standing, yelling is easier, and more powerful, so sit on the floor, the couch, the bed, or whatever is nearby, this puts you in a more prone position, and allows your body to dispel some of the aggression it is feeling.


6. Evaluate. One of the best ways to calm down a fight is to stop and recognize what started the fight, and whether or not you have resolved that issue, or moved to a tangent. Sometimes a course correction is the best way to calm things down as it gets you back on track, and often helps you realize just how silly the fight is.

No matter who you are, or what the fight is about, if you feel yourself losing control, if you let rage take over your emotions, or if all you want to do is scream or cry, then you know that you need to take some steps to calm down the fight. There are natural ways to help your body (which reacts to your feelings) calm down. Lying on the floor is one way, taking deep breaths, etc. Your physiological responses to your emotions can escalate out of control, so if you find you can't keep your emotions in check, use physical response to help combat the physiological.

 

When you're stressed, depressed, or downright angry, you might not know what to do to calm yourself down quickly––yet, it's important to teach yourself this skill because the sooner you calm down, the sooner you'll feel better able to cope with the situation around you. In this article, you'll discover various ways to cope with strong emotions and calm yourself down. Above all, start with the mindset of knowing that you have control of how you choose to perceive the situation. All you need is a little help to convince your fight or flight responses to see it that way too.

Steps:

Pay attention to your body

1. Concentrate on proper breathing techniques. Breathe through your nose and out through your mouth. Take the air from your diaphragm (stomach region) and not just from your chest. This will regulate your body's reactions and help you to remain calm
   
   
   
   • Breathing into a paper bag was once thought to help curb hyperventilation and restore calmness. Experts now agree that this is somewhat dangerous and should be avoided. Deep, slow breathing is much better––besides, you don't need to find a paper bag either!
2. Shake or shrug your shoulders to release tension. Exercise in general is a great way to release stress. But you may not be able to visit the gym every time you experience a stressful situation. Simply shake or shrug your shoulders to release the tension. Rolling your shoulders in a back-to-front motion is also a great way to beat the stress.
3. Lie down or sit back in a safe place. Close your eyes and listen to slow music to take your mind off of emotional pressure. Let all the tension in your forehead, neck, and hands fade away slowly. Imagine every part of your body relaxing. Start with your toes and as you breathe, imagine them becoming one with the Earth. Try to be as still as possible.

Change your behavior

1. Make it a goal to live more and stress less. Remember, you manage your to-do-list, your perception of the world and your feelings. Don't let your feelings and worries manage you!
2. Always try to stay positive no matter what and remember that things happen that are beyond your control––you aren't here to master everyone and everything into perfect behavior or functioning; you're here to simply master your own behavior and reactions. Remind yourself that you're not the only person dealing with these issues when something difficult challenges your sense of calm. Others feel similar emotions and are trying to anchor their fears, worries and anxieties too.
3. Avoid people who add stress to your life. Sometimes this isn't possible, but try your best to surround yourself with people who love you, don't judge you and who are willing to listen as much as you're willing to listen to them. Such people will nurture and support you. Otherwise, try and limit the time you spend around people who "wind you up", especially if you're highly sensitive to taking on board other people's emotions and issues. If you have to be around a stressful person often, learn to manage the situation––change your reaction to them, don't rise to any baiting they might practice and simply remain respectfully quiet if they lose the plot around you.
   • Some people need to retreat from other people more often than others to rejuvenate (such as introverts, highly sensitive people, etc.). Give yourself this space and solitude regularly each day; over-socializing can be stressful without downtime.
4. Think about the situation from a different perspective that doesn't result in you being so stressed. Consider the points of view of others around you. Consider the consequences by asking yourself "What's the worst that could happen?" This question is a common one used by life coaches to force people to think through the consequences of catastrophic thinking processes (the ones where we moan that everything is bad and it's all just going to get worse). When you force yourself to face the worst, you can simply work back from there and see things in perspective, as well as making plans to stop the "worst" from doing its worst.
5. Take time to relax, meditate, or pray. Great peace comes through purposely focusing on quieting one's being without worrying about distractions of the world. Find a place where you can be alone and focus on yourself. Being mindful as a way of life is very calming and allows you to step aside from stressful events, even as they unfold, to assess them with clarity and gentleness.
   
   
   
6. Visit a stream or river. Water has a meditative quality that often helps people calm down. If you live in the city, simply close your eyes and imagine that you're sitting by a stream of water in the woods. Next, try to imagine a leaf floating on the waterway. Think about where that leaf is going. This is a simple, but surprisingly effective, way of lowering your stress levels.
   • A small indoor fountain can help to bring a sense of watery calm to your office or home environment.
7. Carry a picture with you of an image that makes you feel calm in a crazy world. It should have scenes of nature, not people. Some people find images of water very calming. Carry this image in your purse, wallet, or briefcase, and keep it with you. When you sense you are getting anxious, use the calm image to look at while speaking aloud a positive affirmation. Place an appropriate photo image at your office desk or somewhere in your place of most activity, and look at it several times in the day while saying a positive affirmation like "Life may be crazy but I am calm throughout."
   
   
   
8. Be strong and convince yourself that you are in control of your own choices and perception. You have the power to control the way you feel. Don't waste this power. Make the right choices in life and you'll be able to reap the rewards. And remember that not making a decision is still making a choice––the choice to let life do as it will to you.
9. Don't get down on yourself. If you're having a bad day, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself good things. Say "You are smart, beautiful/handsome" to keep your confidence up. While we're hardwired to be concerned what others think about us, it's important to quell the voice that lets such worries dig in too deep––learn to not let other people bring you down by reminding yourself that most unhelpful criticism comes from other people's self-projections of what they're not liking about themselves. In other words, adopt compassion toward them for revealing so much to you about what's making them feel insecure.

Sing and dance

1. Sing a happy song. Listening to music is a great way to change your mood. What's your favorite song? Play it on the stereo and sing along. You'll be surprised how good it makes you feel.
   
   
   
2. Dance like no one is watching! Turn on the radio and start dancing. Good music has a magical quality that makes us live in the moment. Sometimes all you need to do is just think happy thoughts and move your feet.
   • What is "good" music is personal. If you like Country & Western and your BFF prefers rock, so be it. It's just different tastes and you must rely on what you love most to bring you into a positive place.

Find something else to do

1. Squeeze a stress ball, sponge, or other pliable object at least 50 times in a row. Stroke your pet rock/talisman or rub the thumb-slot on your executive pacifier stone. Play air guitar/drums and sound effects. Finding distracting activities that are tactile and focused will help to calm you quickly.
2. Count to 10. Before you say something inappropriate, close your eyes and count to 10. Count to 20 if you need to. Even count to 100 if it's necessary. This is an easy and effective way to separate yourself quickly from a stressful situation.
3. Express yourself in a journal. Try to write logically about how you feel. This is a good way to confront your emotions, especially if you're naturally inclined to write. And if things come out in a jumble, don't worry about it. Tear out the sheet of paper and throw it away. It's the process of thinking and writing that's most important.
   
   
   
   • A journal is also a good way to reflect on your past. For example, how has your upbringing contributed to how you react to the world around you? Think back on your life as a child between the ages of 5 and 10. Write down anything that seems important. Your journal will help you connect the dots.
4. Spend time with animals. Dogs and cats can be tremendously helpful during stressful moments. There's nothing better than a nonjudgmental furry friend to hug and talk to. Talk out your concerns with your pet around––they won't tell you to pull your socks up or make unhelpful suggestions. Indeed, you'll find them hanging off your every word and if you stroke them at the same time, your heart rate will come down and you'll feel more at peace with the world again.
   • Can't find a real animal at home? Sometimes a stuffed pet can be just as useful. Or visit the zoo, a nature park, aquarium or a local wildlife reserve. Just seeing animals go about their daily business can be extremely calming.
5. Immerse yourself in a hobby. If you like drawing, draw! If you like taking pictures, do it! Just do whatever you really find yourself easily immersed in, the thing that you lose track of time doing. Hobbies are a great way to charge your batteries, lose touch with your worries and resurface feeling whole again.
6. Do something indulgent, unrelated to what's bothering you and calm-inducing. Here are some easy things to help reduce stress:
   
   
   
   • Read a book
   • Watch a movie
   • Take a bath
   • Make some tea
   • Work in the garden
   • Take a walk around the neighborhood
   • Scream and shout! A short outburst might help restore calm. Don't overdo this though––too much venting is bad for you and should not take place of calming techniques.
   • Hug a tree.

Video

Tips

• Try listening to music, or playing a game to take your mind of things.
• Try pausing before reacting and breathing before speaking.
• If you can not control your emotions at all, seek professional help through a psychologist.
• If you work in a stressful environment, ask your employer to offer anger management courses.
• When a chaotic event or person confronts you, do not immediately react. Instead, visualize the word "calm" and repeat it internally three times before reacting calmly.
• When you get angry it's likely that you can't see around you any more. Therefore, you have to take advantage of the moment where things start to turn around; instead of carrying on with your anger, breathe very deeply and walk away from the place, try to focus on positive things.
• To stop the anger attacks that take you over because of the smallest mistakes, convince yourself that you don't care about the mistake––instead, you care about what you've learned from it and you prepare yourself to do things differently next time.
• You're not always going to get your way, so don't expect to. Don't plan on everything to come out perfectly.
• Get some fresh air. Step outside, open a window, it doesn't matter as long as you get it.
• try thinking of the good times you had with people you love

Warnings

• Be steady and think twice before you do anything in haste. Calm is steadiness.
• Be careful not to take out your anger on others. You'll regret it once you are back to feeling good.
• Don't break anything like antiques or things that you feel are important to you.
• Never harm yourself or others even if you're really angry. Go somewhere to calm down alone instead. If you are so enraged that you can't cope, check yourself into the emergency ward of a hospital for immediate assistance.